LETTING GO of the past

there is usually an assumption behind letting go – that the weight has no value – however, this is FALSE. until we learn the lessons of our past experiences & what these experiences caused in us – we aren’t truly able to let go. the past is not DEAD WEIGHT – this weight is actually stored all over our energy field, in our bodies & in our minds.

when we heal the past, letting go becomes of a natural by-product of this healing. when we don’t heal something – our energy is stagnated. WHEN we heal, our energy transcends!

as humans we may naturally try to bypass this healing – this is what majority of us has been taught. there are 2 main reasons we try to bypass healing:

1. PROTECTION! – our egos are trying to protect us. emotional pain & trauma sends the ego into protective mode & will attempt to recoil.

2. NOT ACCEPTING DEATH! – to be completely comfortable with life, we must be comfortable with DEATH. for us to heal, we must allow endings to complete themselves. to fully grieve we must be ok with death & accept it as a cycle of life - it is an inevitable cycle! the easiest way to understand & become comfortable with the cycles of life/death is to spend time in nature – a tree losing its leaves, a cat eating a lizard, a bee dying, rivers drying up during a drought etc.

during the period after my parents’ death i found myself searching for many avenues that would help me in some way process their deaths – as it was clear that if i continued to cower in fear & try to deny it – that fear could possibly DESTROY me. & only recently these techniques along with new ones learned as a disciple of MSA in the IAV community helped me to deal with some traumas that resurfaced after publishing part 1 of Journal Of A Himalayan Yogini – Pre-Awakening.

this is a 4-step process i learned & applied that helped me immensely in coming to a place of acceptance of not just their deaths but death in general.

healing – THE 4-STEP PROCESS

1. COMMIT TO HEALING. by affirming I COMMIT TO HEALING WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE HEALED WITHIN ME, I WILL NOT BYPASS HEALING ANYMORE I COMMIT FULLY TO HEALING THIS EXPERIENCE! say it with great intention & conviction!

2. prime the EGO. bring a lot of love & compassion & prepare a safe place. invite copious amounts of soothing self-talk – for example: “everything is ok” “we need to do this work in order to live a joyful life.” the ego needs safety & security so that it will allow healing to continue.

3. SIT WITH/IN THE PAIN. go into the past painful experience, unload the emotions that come up & then grieve. allow yourself to connect with the pain & grieve what was lost. this entails: engaging & embracing the pain! DO NOT RECOIL, DO NOT IGNORE THE PAIN! then embrace whatever comes up – accept it as a part of you. it is also vital to grieve relationships too especially if it was a strong soul connection. don't count the days or keep track of how long the process of this step is taking – this will only invite irritation to the ego & may also push it to recoil.

4. Tonglen Meditation. this is a meditation practice found in Buddhism – it is centered around sending & receiving compassion. it is known as exchanging self with others. the steps are very simple to go through & you can find it on YouTube by just searching for it by name & selecting a video that you feel called to.

   • recognize that the pain is not your own – think about the fact that there is at least one other person on the planet going through what you are going through. when you do this, you will allow yourself to expand instead of contract into the pain.

   • breathe in the pain from yourself & others.

   • breathe out love compassion & kindness to anyone else experiencing the same pain. when you do this, you heal yourself as well as others.

i realized that in order to live the joyful life of ease that i truly desired & deserved - i needed to let go of my parents’ deaths - but first, i needed to accept it! i sat with that pain for weeks - & one of the ways i got through that pain was with daily journaling – every day i wrote down how i was feeling – WITHOUT judgment.

eventually, i came out on the other side of the pain – i had become BIGGER than that pain – i found peace - & even in times after that period when it sometimes felt like the pain from their deaths would turn me into ash, i was always able to return to that place of peace NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TOOK! now when i speak of or think of my parents i feel happy, i feel strong, i feel like i can conquer anything, i feel like they are always with me, constantly cheering me on – papa’s innate peaceful nature is felt ALL the time & mama’s go out & get shit done nature is inevitably a part of me. there are so many other parts of them that i see reflected in not just me but also in my siblings (blood & otherwise), in animals, in plants, in nature EVERYWHERE, in EVERYTHING – I SEE THEM IN EVERYTHING!

my journal was my way to release that pain & these are the entries i share with you in part 2 of Journal of a Himalayan Yogini - LETTING GO of the past.

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- santana chevel

"infinite spirits expressed in the IAM. iam in you, as you are in me"